


“I Should Never Drink With You!”

by cdelbridge



Category: Mystrade - Fandom, Sherlock (TV), johnlock - Fandom
Genre: Drunken Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:54:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29365815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cdelbridge/pseuds/cdelbridge
Summary: Greg and John have a night out without Holmes men.
Relationships: Johnlock, Mystrade - Relationship
Comments: 65
Kudos: 119





	1. Chapter 1

“So,” Greg looked across the table at John Watson, “how did you tell Sherlock you loved him?”

“Seriously?” John took a sip of his beer, “the first time?”

Lestrade nodded, “Yep, the very first time.”

”You were there.” John grinned, “although you probably missed the subtleties.”

Two years ago....

”Sherlock Holmes!” John was following his long legged flatmate at a dead run. The criminal they were chasing was losing ground on the detective although, with his much shorter legs, John was struggling to keep up. His yell went unnoticed, of course. Gritting his teeth, the doctor put on a burst of speed and had made up some ground when he rounded the corner.

Only to see his infuriating flatmate sail over the bridge railing, arms flapping, as the criminal tossed him aside. John stopped, mouth open, and then shrieked, “Sherlock!” The person they were chasing stopped, saw John, panicked then ran straight into traffic.

Horns blared, and a loud thump, followed by screams indicated he didn’t need to give chase. Turning towards the bridge, he ran to where he had seen his friend go over and, afraid of what he’d find, took a peak.

”A hand would be nice John.” The smooth baritone said, “and so help me, if you applaud, I will throttle you.”

Sherlock Holmes was hanging onto a bridge support for dear life and looked unharmed. So, of course, John lost his head, “you fucking idiot! You could have died! And of course, being you, you’d fall to your death before I got to tell you I love you! I’m in love with a moron!”

Sherlock, mouth agape, almost lost his grip. “What?”

”Oh don’t pretend you haven’t deduced it! Why else would you wander around the flat half naked all the time?” John glared down at the love of his life. “Now give me your stupid hand so I can pull your arse up! And if you weighed more, you wouldn’t go flying so easily!”

Present day.....

Lestrade, head down, was laughing so hard the table shook. “I remember that but I had no idea that’s when it happened! Sherlock looked so stunned, I thought he’d hit his head.”

”Nope, I took him home and attacked his sexy arse. We’ve been together ever since.” John drained his glass then refilled it from the pitcher on the table. “Now you! When did you first tell Mycroft?”

Six months ago....

”Detective Lestrade!”

The warm, posh voice rolled over him from the doorway. Greg looked up to find Mycroft Holmes standing in front of him. He realized how bad he must look with clothes he’d been in since sometime yesterday and dark circles under his eyes from a serious lack of sleep. Every fucking time! “Mr Holmes! What can I do for you?”

”I just stopped by as I was in the area and wondered if I could give you a lift home?” Mycroft moved further into the small office and looked expectantly at the exhausted man in front of him. “And it’s Mycroft.”

The man’s scent should be illegal! Greg’s senses swam in the close confines and if he wasn’t so fucking tired, he’d probably have an erection he could stab himself with if he bent over. “That would be nice although I don’t want to put you out! I am pretty tired.”

”Then let me be of assistance to Scotland Yard’s finest!” He stood back as the cop grabbed his coat and keys then walked through the offices, down the hallway and to the elevators with Greg, talking casually. Once outside the doors, his big black car (parked illegally), was right there. The driver held the door as both men climbed in.

The man already knew where they were going, Mycroft was nothing if not efficient, and the car started to move. Greg was asleep on Mycroft’s shoulder before they made it out of the parking area. Smiling to himself, Mycroft touched the cop’s tousled head and said, “god this is a dream!”

Greg shifted and Mycroft found his arm around the other man, not really sure how it got there. Feeling happier than he’d ever been, his heart nearly exploded when a sleepy Greg said, “I love you Mycroft Holmes.” And he started to snore.

Present day....

”Were you embarrassed?” John asked, tears rolling down his face. “What did you do?”

Lestrade waved to their waitress and indicated they needed a refill. “I would have been very embarrassed but I woke up in Mycroft’s bed, wrapped in his arms. Hard to be embarrassed when it led to your greatest desire!” The cop looked intently at John, “next question!”

The Holmes’ men.....

”Are you sure?” Sherlock Holmes stood in the middle of the field looking at the stars. “We’re supposed to be able to see pictures in the stars? You know this is just a hold over from early man trying to have an answer for things they didn’t understand.”

”I know that and you know that and since we’re geniuses, it shouldn’t be that hard.” Mycroft gripped the torch and flashed it on the map of the constellations his brother was holding. “But Gregory was pointing out constellations when we were outside one night and I had no idea what he was talking about.”

”The things we do for love.” Sherlock looked up. “OK, lets go for it. Hey,” he grabbed his brother, “that one’s moving!”

”Airplane?” Mycroft asked hopefully.

”Dear god, we’re pathetic! Let’s find the Big Dipper and call it a win!” Sherlock looked up. “This would be more helpful if there were signs, “this way to the Big Dipper”. “Over here for Orion’s Belt.”

Mycroft gazed up at the sky, “we could stay out here all night and never find anything. And it’s cold.” He looked at his brother, “or....”

”Or what?” Sherlock looked him up and down. “You’re giving up already!”

”No but remember that planetarium where you ran into the Gollum?” Mycroft looked cold. “We could get a private screening!”

”You just don’t want to be outside.” Sherlock smirked. An animal made a noise off in the distance, “but if you insist!” Sherlock folded the map and tucked it in a pocket. “After you!”


	2. Next question!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More questions!

“I get to decide the question this time!” John took a healthy swallow of his beer. “Ready???”

Greg made sure his glass was filled and said, “go for it!”

“First time you saw Mycroft naked! Were you stunned? Turned on?” John grinned and leaned back in his seat.

Six months ago:

Greg woke from a delicious dream where he was sleeping on the most wonderful sheets, an insanely comfortable bed and Mycroft’s scent filling his mind. His dream self was so turned on! Smiling happily, he turned his face into what should have been his pillow and touched flesh.

Jerking abruptly awake, he opened his eyes to pale freckled flesh (he breathed a quick sigh of relief, not his ex-wife!) but just as quickly lost his shit. Holy fucking fuck, his mind screamed, I’m in bed with Mycroft Holmes! Ahhh!!!!!

Present day

”Intermission!” Greg held up his hands, “I need the loo!” He looked about, “ah, there it is.” Grinning at John, who was getting ready to scream, he said, “I promise to continue in just a moment!”

John twiddled his thumbs while Lestrade emptied his bladder, greeted friends at another table and ordered more beer and appetizers. Finally he sat down, grinned at his friend and said, “where was I?”

Six months ago-continued

”Are you going to have an existential crisis or can I see that stunning erection I know you have?” Mycroft’s sleepy voice cut through the panic attack the cop knew was coming. “Nothing happened last night you know. You fell asleep on me, I thought I was going to combust from happiness, then you said...”

”I love you Mycroft Holmes and waking up in bed with you has been my biggest fantasy.” Lestrade propped himself on an elbow and stared at the face in front of him. Taking the tip of his finger, he pulled the sheet down the bare, freckled chest and it’s dusting of red hair. The hair got thicker and a darker shade of red the further south he went. Glancing at the beautiful man he’d awoken to, he continued tugging the sheet down. Mycroft’s stunning erection sprang forth, surrounded by a thatch of slightly curled red hair. He was overwhelming.

Looking at the gorgeous feast spread before him, Greg took a deep breath and said, “may I?” At the barely perceptible nod, Greg leaned over and took Mycroft into his mouth....

Present day...

“Your turn! Same question, when did you first see Sherlock naked and what did you think?” Greg leaned back and sipped his beer.

The second day John lived with Sherlock...

John came down the steps from his upstairs bedroom in dire need of tea. What were the odds Sherlock had made some? Not very likely, he thought.

Coming in the door to the sitting room, he found his new roommate passed out on the sofa. John smiled, assuming his new friend had been up all night working, only to discover the lunatic was naked.

John was still identifying as (mostly) heterosexual at this point but couldn’t help himself as he stopped and stared. The man was absolutely gorgeous. He was laying on his side, facing the room, and John caught a glimpse of a pale, muscular chest with more hair than he’d expected (not that he’d thought about it!) which got darker and thicker the further down it went. His cock, erect with morning wood, was pointing straight up and John had to pick his jaw up and make himself quit staring. The arse was incredible as well, he noticed, as he drug himself into the kitchen in search of caffeine and willed his own erection away. He totally missed the little smile Sherlock had before he went back to, pretending to, sleep.

The Holmes boys....

”Isn’t this breaking and entering?” Sherlock asked his brother, who was trying all the doors to the building in disgust.

”I’m the British government! It’s an emergency!” Mycroft declared as he wrestled with the door. “Fuck!”

”Wow, you give up easily!” The detective reached into his coat pocket and pulled out his lock picks. “I can get us in but what happens if we’re caught?” He went to work on the door.

”It’s a matter of state security! I’ll show my ID!” Mycroft declared stoutly. “If that doesn’t work, I’ll threaten their lives.” The locks gave.

Holding the door for his brother, Sherlock said, “is it bad that part of me hopes we get caught? I’d love to see how you talk your way out of it.” They headed for the planetarium.


	3. Question Number Three!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greg’s turn

“My turn!” Greg giggled (seriously, he giggled) and continued. “Ready?”

John nodded, “make it a good one!”

Lestrade thought for a second, smiled, then said, “the question everyone wants answered! Top or bottom?”

Two years ago:

Finally, they were naked, erect and moving towards Sherlock’s bed! John could barely keep his hands to himself but was also half afraid he’d come before he even got close to his flatmate’s arse!

His beautiful flatmate, the love of his life, took his hand and tugged him close. “John, I never thought this would happen! I love you so much!”

Stroking one of the sharp cheekbones, John smiled and said, “Sherlock, I love you! This is a dream come true!” He tugged his friend to the bed and stopped.

”John? What’s wrong?” Sherlock looked quizzically at him. He stared at his love for a second, smiled and said, “you are the most uptight bisexual I’ve ever met! I love to give as well as receive John! We’ll take turns.” He wrapped his arms around the cuddly doctor and pulled him close. “Sometimes I’ll want to ride you so hard you won’t be able to walk right and I’m sure you’ll feel the same.” He wrapped one of his large hands around their erections and started to stroke them both. “But right now, I thought we could come fast so we can come again slow in a little while.”

John quit thinking at that point and gave himself up to those hands!

Present day

”I knew it!” Lestrade chortled, “I didn’t get in on the betting pool though. It was one or the other, not both.” He took a sip of his beer, “my turn, I’m guessing?”

Grinning, John nodded.

Six months ago....

”So, what do you like Gregory?” Mycroft was laying across his cop. He ran his fingertips across Greg’s chest and played with the graying chest hair. “You have such a gorgeous body, Gregory!”

”You mean you can’t deduce it?” Lestrade had his eyes closed and was basking in the moment. He smiled as he said it.

Mycroft nibbled on a collarbone and said, “OK, I deduce that you give as good as you get. That sometimes you’d like to ride me hard and without mercy. Other times, you’d love me to throw you over the kitchen table and take you roughly.” He moved his lips down to the dusky pink nipples and ran his teeth over them. Greg groaned. “But, you have a side that you don’t show anyone. A side that I share.” He got off the bed quickly and moved to his dresser. “I’ve been looking and waiting for you for so long Gregory.” He reached in to a drawer and pulled out a whip. “Would you like to play?”

The Holmes’ boys

”You know, I got us in here,” Sherlock said looking around, “the least you can do is run the program or whatever it is.”

”What makes you think I know how to turn it on?” Mycroft was looking blankly at the controls.

”I’ve done my part! It’s your turn!” Sherlock plopped into one of the chairs and said, “hurry up though, I’m losing interest in this.”

”You’re such an arse sometimes.” Mycroft began flicking switches. “Let’s try this.” A voice boomed out in the large room.


	4. My Turn!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John’s turn!

“I’ll be right back!” John stood and made his way carefully to the loo.

Lestrade entertained himself by looking around the bar trying to read people the way Sherlock did and quickly gave it up as a lost cause. About the only thing he was sure of was that the tipsy woman at the bar shouldn’t wear heels. 

“I’m back!” John plopped himself down in his chair. “My turn to ask, right?”

”Yep!” Lestrade found himself popping the “p” and thought he might be hanging around the detective too much. Picking up his beer, he said, “knock yourself out!”

The doctor thought for a second, smiled wickedly and said, “what is the weirdest thing you’ve done with your Holmes? Doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual.”

Five months ago

”What in the world are you doing?” Mycroft Holmes stood in the doorway of their bathroom, staring at his boyfriend.

Greg Lestrade, bent over his left leg with a razor, glared at his love. “Well, my legs are covered in shaving soap and after I finish that, I thought I’d pluck my eyebrows. You know, to find my inner woman.”

”Oh wait, this is for that undercover case with my brother, right,” Mycroft looked down his nose at the thought. “Although I’m sure Sherlock is used to dressing up. He’ll be beside himself with happiness.”

”He did seem extremely pleased with the idea, I have to admit.” Greg said as he drug the razor up his leg. “It’s amazing how much leg hair I have.” He rinsed the razor and went back to work.

Mycroft sat down on the rim of the tub to watch. “Care to share the details of the case?” He watched the proceedings with keen interest.

”We are going undercover at a strip club.” Greg looked his leg over critically then checked to make sure his hadn’t missed any clumps of hair. “Sherlock is going to be a dancer while I’m going to tend bar. However, I will be dressed almost in as little as your brother. I’ll probably need your help to shave my crotch.” He moved onto the next leg. Gazing up at his boyfriend, he said, “is that an erection I spy Mr Holmes?”

Mycroft shifted his bulge to a more comfortable position and said, “don’t let that disturb you. What will you be wearing? Or not wearing as the case may be.”

”I’m not sure. Do you have anything I could wear or at least some suggestions?” Lestrade looked up from his leg and smiled innocently.

”You have several options. Is this a leather-type bar?” The erection was really out of control now. “Come look in my closet when you’re done. You have several different options. If you model them for me, I might let you borrow my chaps.”

Greg grinned, “chaps? And you’ve never let me see them?”

”Don’t want to bring all my quirks out to play yet!” Mycroft stood and started removing his shirt, “I’d hate to scare you off.”

”Not much chance of that!” The cop stood back to watch the British government do a sexy striptease. “Not much chance at all!”

Present day

”Those were Mycroft’s chaps?!” John said shrilly. “No wonder Sherlock laughed when he saw them. I’ve always wanted a pair.”

”Well we know what to get you for Christmas!” Greg grinned. “Your turn! Same question.”

Two years ago, give or take...

”No! Absolutely not!” John was standing in the middle of the sitting room, arms crossed, glaring at his boyfriend.

”Come on John! You lost the bet!” Sherlock grinned in delight. “When I lost that one bet, did I complain? Did I refuse? No! I stripped down, wore the bridle and such and let you ride me around the house! And the spurs hurt!”

”I know, I know.” John hung his head. “But when I have you dress up, it’s kinky. When you do it, it’s disturbing.”

”To each their own, John!” Sherlock grinned. He handed the garment to his boyfriend and said, “I’ve always had a Sailor Moon fixation. Want me to help with the wig?”

”Fuck you!” John grabbed the costume and stomped off to the bathroom. “I’d at least better come after all this though.”

The detective heard the door slam and grinned, “oh you will, John! Eventually!”

Present day

Greg had his head down on the table and was practically screaming he was laughing so hard. “Oh please tell me there’s a picture of both of you!”

”I’ll show you mine if you show me yours!” John was laughing as well. “Although I’m not sure I can take Mycroft seriously in chaps.”

And the Holmes’ boys....

”You are under arrest!” The cops at the door looked really mad. 

Mycroft held up his hands and said, “gentlemen, I’m Mycroft Holmes and if you let me show you my ID, I can explain all this.”

London’s finest didn’t look impressed. “What about you?” They pointed to Sherlock.

The detective, arms raised, said, “oh I am so glad to see you! This crazy man hijacked my car and drug me in here! I think he intends to rape me!” He let his lip tremble and seemed to be about to burst into tears.

”You’re safe now sir!” The lead cop pulled Sherlock away from his brother. He brought his handcuffs out and turned to his partner, “cover me, I don’t trust him.”

”Gentlemen!” Mycroft tried.

The cop shushed him, “enough! You can tell us all about it when we get downtown.” He turned to the detective, “do you need medical attention, sir?”

”I’m not sure. Give me a moment.” He leaned dramatically against the wall while the cops dealt with his brother. Standing behind them, he grinned at Mycroft and blew him a kiss. 


	5. How In The World....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greg can’t believe it.

“My turn, isn’t it?” Greg sipped his beer. “OK, OK, you can tell how inebriated I am since I’m asking this question. Ready?” John nodded. “How well hung is your Holmes’ brother?”

Two years ago...

Sherlock Holmes was leaning against the door jamb, totally naked. This wasn’t that unusual, he often dispensed with clothes, but this time was different. One, their relationship had changed to something romantic (!!!!) and two, his flatmate was erect. And getting more so.

Not that John hadn’t seen him naked and erect earlier when they had “come fast so they could come slow” but he hadn’t had time to appreciate the whole package. Sherlock had no modesty at the best of times and he had a captive audience this time so...

His body was absolutely beautiful. Pale skin, dark hair, more muscle tone than he’d expected, neatly trimmed pubic hair (of course, he probably had a pubic hair barber), long muscular legs and long, elegant feet. But it was the cock that Sherlock was lightly stroking that had John mesmerized. It was long and thin, somewhat like its owner, and the head was a dusky rose color. John felt somewhat lightheaded as he watched.

“You could bring that over here and I’d help.” John suggested, mouth watering. He could feel himself growing harder as he watched.

Sherlock grinned, leaned against the wall, put his head back and moaned. His left hand came into play, cupping his balls as he stroked himself. 

John could see a trickle of pre-come on his flatmate and couldn’t control himself. Standing, he moved towards the gorgeous man and said, “I bet that would feel so good inside me and hit all the right spots.”

“I’m imaging riding you and not letting you come until the very last second. Just as you’re ready to explode, untouched, I’d reach around and grab your cock. One jerk, maybe two would be all it would take and we’d come together.” Sherlock held out his hand and together they moved to the bed, erections leading the way.

Present day

“So Sherlock’s junk resembles his body.” Lestrade found his glass inexplicably empty and refilled it from their pitcher.

“Basically.” John found his glass equally compromised and held it out for Greg to refill. “He definitely hits all the spots!” John grinned happily. “Your turn. Same question.”

Six months ago

“You are gorgeous Mycroft!” The long, thin cock was nestled in red pubic hair. And no matter what the consulting detective said, Mycroft wasn’t fat and actually had an amazing body.

“You look pretty amazing yourself Gregory!” The British government was avidly staring at the cop’s body in front of him. He was almost as long in the cock area but wider. Mycroft unconsciously licked his lips. “I’m really looking forward to exploring....”

Present day

Greg’s phone rang. He ignored it. Eventually it stopped. It rang again. Same result. Finally, Mycroft’s special text alert sounded. The cop picked it up curiously.

“Jesus Christ!” He sat up quickly. “We have to go, now!” He reached for his coat.

“What? Greg, what happened?” John, alarmed stood up and grabbed his coat as well.

“There’s a car outside waiting for us!” The cop started heading towards the door, John close behind.

The doctor was imagining all kinds of tragedies but couldn’t make himself be heard until they were outside of the pub. “Greg, what happened? Is Sherlock OK? Mycroft?”

Mycroft’s long, black car pulled up in front of them. Lestrade reached for the handle before the driver could even open the door for them. He looked over his shoulder at John and said, “our idiotic Holmes’ boys went star gazing and then broke into a planetarium. Mycroft has been arrested for trespass, car jacking and kidnapping your idiot Holmes with the intent to rape him.”

“Wait, what?” John was baffled.

“Get in, John.” Greg called from the inside of the car. “I can’t wait to hear the explanation for this one.”

John climbed in and took a seat, feeling dazed. “They weren’t even drinking.”

“Thank God! They’d probably have started a war.” The car moved off, towards NSY.


End file.
